


The one who broke my heart

by Nanartist707



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Happy Ending, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, Shiro sees Lance having sex with another guy, Voyeurism, heartbreaks, more tags to come maybe, shancengst, shangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 12:22:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanartist707/pseuds/Nanartist707
Summary: Lance confessed to Shiro, but got rejected.He tried to get over him, but he couldn't, things happens and he leaves the team without a proper good bye.The team search for him and when they finally find him, they discover that he was trapped on the Quantum Abyss and worse, he has someone else.Will he still choose Shiro if his team leader confess to him?





	The one who broke my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This is a looooong one-shot lol  
> Not that long.  
> But I hope you guys like it :)
> 
> It's also my first one with so explicit sexual content so please don't read it if you're not into it!
> 
> (Also, this wasn't beta read so, any mistakes tell me or let it pass hehe)
> 
> xoxo

“I’m in love with you.” Such a small phrase, but still that took all of Lance’s courage. He was in love with no one else than Takashi Shirogane, his hero, his friend, his leader. Of course, if he didn’t think Shiro felt the same way he would never tell his feeling to him, but he thought that he could have a chance. Even Hunk and Pidge thought so.

It was small acts, small touches, praises, smiles, that made Lance think Shiro also felt something.

“I appreciate your feeling Lance, but I’m sorry…”

 

Oh, no.

 

“I don’t feel the same way.”

 

Lance just looked at the serious face Shiro was showing, there was something more behind those gray eyes, something that Lance named as _pity._ He faked a laugh. “No, no, of course not! I already knew that!” God that was embarrassing. Lance could feel his breath getting stuck in his throat.

“I- I just wanted to take this out of my heart…”

“Lance…” Now Shiro had a sad look and Lance hated that he was the reason. He raised his hand.

“No! No, it’s fine Shiro. All good, yep. I- I know I said that I _love_ you, but it’s more of a crush honestly, you don’t need to worry, this won’t affect me in any way, actually! Thank you. Your rejection was loud and clear. I got the message. I’ll give up on this crush in no time! You know me, I flirt a lot right? Yeah, so don’t worry. Thanks!”

 

Lance wasn’t looking at Shiro when he was talking about all that. If he had, maybe he would have seen the panic expression Shiro was wearing. Or how he tried to speak, but couldn’t, or how his hands went towards him more than once.

He turned around and dashed to his room.

He was so stupid, so so stupid, how could he ever think that Shiro felt the same thing for him?? He was Shiro for god's sake! And he… he was just Lance, a no one really, he was a no one in the team, his heart clenched.

He was really dumb.

 

The days went on, and Lance really did his best to continue his days like nothing had happened, It was high time he moved on, after all. But he couldn’t and he didn’t, the training exercises were the most difficult for him, he tried his best to not fight with Shiro, he didn’t want any contact with his leader. And that worked for a while till Allura told him to fight with Shiro.

“What? Why? I’m a sniper Allura, I don’t need to train close combat.” Lance ignored Shiro and almost started arguing with Allura when the other paladins joined the heated conversation.

 

“You know why you should train close combat Lance.” Keith looked annoyed at him. “It’s not always that you can hide behind you gun.”

“Hide? Who’s hiding??” Lance looked at Keith, furrowning.

“Keith, chill.” Hunk said. “Are you ok though, Lance? I never saw you refusing Shiro like that…”

Pidge scoffed. “He’s dumb Hunk, he’s just being the usual drama queen because he’s not good at anything.”

 

Ok, what the hell was going on with everyone??

Why everyone was acting like total jerks?

“If I’m not good at anything then perhaps I should leave the team.” Lance said, glaring at the rest of the team. It was something that came out of nowhere, but no one said anything, they just stared at him, the only ones with wide eyes, were Shiro and Hunk. But even then, no one said anything and Lance being the overthinker he was, got the wrong message. “Cool. Glad we all agree in something.” He let his bayard drop to the floor. And walked away, he was stomping his way to his room, he would do it. He would fucking grab his stuff and leave. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and relaxed thinking that it was Hunk, his best friend. But it wasn’t. It was Shiro.

 

“Lance, calm down. They didn’t mean that.”

“Let me go Shiro.” Lance tried to take his hand off of his shoulder, but Shiro squeezed his hand. “Lance, come on.”

“Look, I’m trying my best here ok?? I’m training way harder than everyone, I’m trying my best to do something for the team, I’m doing my best to give up on you-!” Lance gasped, covering his mouth with his hands.

Shiro looked at him with wide eyes, shaking his head a few seconds later.

“You don’t love me Lance, you’re just in love with the idea of love.”

“What?”

“It could be anyone else, you’re just confusing love with admiration.”

 

Was he fucking serious right now?

Was Shiro really trying to minimize his feelings?

A new wave of heat went through Lance’s body, anger, sadness, the pain of being reject. Lance pushed him with all his strength.

“You’re telling me that I would feel like that with anyone that appeared in front of me?”

“And I’m wrong?”

“Of course you are! Because it’s you-” Lance could feel tears falling. “Because it’s you Shiro, I did my best to make you proud. I tried to let it go how the others think less of me, because of you I tried really hard to not miss my family the much I do. I know you don’t like me, but loving you gave me strength to face all the shit we encountered here.” He took a deep breath. “I know you don’t care about me. But don’t take my feelings lightly you bastard.” Shiro tried to talk but Lance was already inside of his room.

\-----------------

 

“I really fucked thing up Keith.” Shiro was laying down on Keith’s bed, hands covering his face.

“So? Go there, knock on the door and fuck him till there’s no tomorrow.”

“Keith!”

“You had a crush on him since we went to space Shiro. I don’t know what’s going through your head, but it’s pretty obvious that he really likes you.”

“So stop being mean to him. I know you guys like to do that because of his reactions, but one day he will really be hurt.”

Keith remembered what he said in the training room and how everyone was too shocked with that reaction to say anything.

“Yeah… you got it. But you have to talk with him too, Shiro. Before he jumps in some weird alien’s arms to forget you.”

Shiro glanced at Keith, shock written in his eyes. He never thought about this, Lance really does flirt with everyone that picks his interest.

“Tomorrow-” He cleared his throat “Tomorrow I’ll speak with him.”

 

Unfortunately, tomorrow never came, because Lance was nowhere to be found in the morning.

“What you mean he’s gone?” Pidge asked to a very sad Coran.

“He came to me yesterday, number 5. There was no way I could convince him to stay.”

“Wait, wait, wait. There’s no way this is true. He wouldn’t go without talking to me.” Hunk was now having one of his panic attacks, no one really succeeding in making him breath, because, well, the one that was used to it was Lance.

“I’m sorry Hunk but it’s true…” Allura showed them the footage of Lance getting inside of a scaping pod and leaving the castle.

“This is all your fault.” Pidge accusingly stared at Keith. “If you didn’t always pick with his choice of weapon he would still be here!”

“If I remember correctly, who was the one calling him dumb yesterday??” Keith retaliated.

“Guys, stop, please.” Hunk pledged to both of them. “We’re all at fault here, well, maybe not Coran, which is why Lance went to say goodbye to him and him alone.” With that they all stayed quiet. Shiro more than the rest, looking at Lance’s face in footage. He looked so sad, so destroyed. Shiro did that to him.

“We can follow his signal right?” He looked at Coran and Allura, that nodded. “Good. Let’s go get him back then.”

He let Lance go once. He wouldn’t do that again.

 

\------

 

Finding Lance was a difficult thing to do apparently.

Two weeks had passed, and they still couldn’t find him.

“I thought we could follow his signal?” Shiro asked, tiredness evident in his face. In all those days, he didn’t managed to sleep, not even a bit. His mind always bringing forward Lance’s face before he left.

“He turned off the signal. Didn’t even think he would be able to find it.” Pidge clicked his tongue in distress, biting her thumb. She also didn’t sleep well, no one did.

“It’s weird man, it’s just like he disappeared out of nowhere.” Hunk rubbed his hand over his face.

“Just keep looking, we’ll find him.” Keith said, sparing a glance to Shiro that was now leaving the room. He went after his brother.

“Shiro.”

“This is my fault. It’s my fault Keith. I couldn’t even approach a single step… I was such a stupid jerk, I hoped so much for the day Lance would feel the same, and when he did-” Shiro released a shaky breath. “I can’t sleep Keith, I keep seeing his lonely back going further away from me, making my heart ache over and over again.” Shiro passed a hand through his hair. “I loved him, we loved each other. I miss him. After you he was the one closest to me, but he always felt so unapproachable… always hiding what he was truly feeling… I should had never let this happened, if I had talked to him that night-“

“No. I won’t let you put all the blame on yourself. You know that we all contributed for this to happen.” Keith places a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. “Go take a bath. I’ll see with Coran if we can change a few things in the pod to make we all sleep for an hour or two.”

Shiro nodded, dragging his feet to his room. “And Shiro?” Keith called for him, he looked at the serious face of his brother. “I’m serious. You’re not responsible for him leaving us.”

Shiro nodded. It was easier said than done, but he knew Keith was right. They all needed to fix this.

 

Keith found Coran already mixing things on the pod.

“Oh! Hello number 4! What can I do for ya?”

“I guess we both had the same idea.” Keith smiled a bit, getting closer to the older man, sitting in the chair in front of the pod. “... I’m worried Coran.”

“About what? Number 3?” Coran stopped what he was doing to look at Keith.

“Yes… this place… where we’re heading… is the same place I went with my mom… The Quantum Abyss… What If Lance is there right now? That’s the only explanation I have for his signal disappearing out of thin air.” Keith had his eyes cast down, looking at the floor. “That place can make you go crazy Coran… for us it has been 2 weeks since he left us… for him it might be years… years trapped in that place…”

“Keith, my young man. We can’t know for sure if he’s there.” He put a hand on his shoulders. “And even if he is, let’s pray for that he’s not alone out there. Like he was here.”

That last part made Keith flinch, he wanted to argue with Coran, saying that Lance never mentioned that, never showed this feeling of being _alone_ . But then he remembered what Shiro said: _he always felt so unapproachable… always hiding what he was truly feeling._ And Keith didn’t find on him the force to say otherwise. Lance felt lonely. He felt he was alone, while he was surrounded by his friends.

 

“PALADINS, WE HAVE A SHIP TRYING TO CONTACT US!” Allura called everyone to the deck. They didn’t know if it was a galra ship or some other, but she made sure to raise their shields and prepare to attack.

Shiro came running, his hair still wet from his shower.

“Let’s see who is trying to contact us, before we attack ok?” Shiro asked Allura, that nodding opened the channel.

 

They all froze on the spot.

It was Lance. An older version of him at least.

His hair was shorter, he was more muscular than they remembered, a scar going from his forehead, passing through the bridge of his nose, all the way down to his right cheek, his posture was tall, erect. Looking like a soldier.

Nothing like the Lance they knew.

 

“I would appreciate if you didn’t fire at us before questioning who we are.” He looked coldly at Allura.

“L-Lance?” Hunk asked, not really believing that that was his friend.

“What happened to you?” Pidge finished the question, equally shocked.

Lance gave the same cold look to the others. Until a man hugged him from behind. He blushed a bit, making Shiro’s stomach fiddle with the scene, whole body going tense.

“You should talk with them, ok?” The man kissed Lance’s head, tightening his grip on him. He relaxed and looked at them again. “Fine. Sent them our coordinates…” He took a glance at Allura. “Hope you can keep up.” And with a smirk he let the man take control over the conversation, giving a small smile in Coran’s direction, he left the room.

 

Shiro and probably everybody else analysed the man that was hugging and being affectionate to their friend.

He was a bit taller than Shiro, but beside that they were almost the same, physically.

Well build, muscular, he also had the “soldier” posture, he smiled at everyone. “Heard a lot about you guys. Sorry if he looks a bit detached… It’s been almost 3 years for us.”

Keith cursed, looking at Coran. Pidge, Hunk and Allura, just looked at the other man, mouth hanging open. And Shiro didn’t like that. At. All.

“I’ve sent you the coordinates to the planet we’re using as our base command. When you get there commander will explain everything.” With a nod he turned off the channel.

“Commander? Who’s commander?” Hunk asked, truly confused.

“Lance is the commander.” Keith answered. “Something must had happened with him, since for him it’s been 3 years.”

“Yeah, but how is that even possible?” Pidge was exasperated. Keith would answer, but Coran took the initiative to explain things and what could have happened with Lance. Right now Keith, was worried with Shiro, he was seated in his chair, hands covering his face.

 

Now he was truly fucked up.

Lance was with another guy. Another _GUY._ For him, 3 years passed, which probably meant that he was over Shiro. While Shiro still was deeply in love with him. Perfect.

“Talk to him.” Keith surprised Shiro, making him raise his head, meeting those serious purple eyes. “We know Lance, he might still be in love with you. Don’t give up before even trying.”

Nothing in his posture meant he was joking. He was fed up with Shiro’s, hell, everyone’s actions. He knew what he would do when he sees Lance again.

He wanted to make sure that everyone knew what to do as well. Because all of them needed the blue paladin back.

 

When they finally arrived at the planet, just as the other guy had told them, Lance was there to receive them. With that guy beside him. Before anyone could say anything, Shiro lunged forward, bringing Lance close to himself, hugging him, he felt his former friend go tense, but he didn’t care. He missed him. Missed him terribly. “I’ve missed you.” He whispered so only Lance could hear it. And the other relaxed as soon as he heard it, hugging Shiro as well, releasing s shaky breath, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

They held each other for what it seemed to be an eternity, until the other guy gave a false cough, making Lance jump away from Shiro, eyes going wide for a second when he looked at the guy, he just smiled and kissed Lance on the cheek, making Shiro furious.

The others taking the chance and getting close to Lance as well, surprisingly Keith was the first one to talk.

“I’m sorry Lance. It was only after you left that I realized I may had gone too far with our rivalry. I hope you can forgive me. You’re my friend and right arm… I wanted you to know that.” Keith was serious and Lance was taken by surprise.

“O-oh. It’s cool man… we all know I was one number too many there anyway. Besides if I hadn’t left I wouldn’t have found him.” He pointed to the big guy looking lovingly at him. “His name’s Ren by the way.” Ren got closer at having his name mentioned, passing a hand trough Lance’s shoulders, bringing him closer.

“Lance told me all about you guys.” He looked at Keith direction giving a little nod. “Seems like we have a few things in common.”

Keith looked confused at him, then at Lance that smiled. “His mother is Japanese… but his father is a Galra.”

“Coran told us you probably got stuck on the Quantum Abyss?” Pidge chirped in, going for a hug as well, she looked up, her eyes glowing like she was telling him to tell all the goods. Lance laughed, god how they all missed that sound.

“Yeah, I was on my way to somewhere, when my pod got a help signal. I was stupid enough to follow it with my tiny spaceship and no weapon, well, no bayard at least.”

“It wasn’t stupid.” Ren interrupted frowning at him. He saved a ship of galra prisoners. It took a while to get out of there, but now here we are.” Lance looked up ready to kiss that smug face, but a noise got his attention, he searched for it and soon enough, he saw Hunk, having his panic attack, crying like a baby. “Oh, Hunk.”

Lance went to him, the bigger guy crumbling on top of him. He was talking, Lance just couldn’t figure out _what_ he was saying, since he was mumbling at the same time he tried to catch some air. “Shhh, it’s ok. It’s ok Hunk. I’m sorry I left without talking with you. I’m here now” It didn’t pass unnoticed to the rest of the team how Lance was stronger now. If it was before, he would definitely be on the floor, but he had no problems in holding Hunk.

 

“We all missed you dearly Lance.” Allura finally spoke to him. ”Blue haven’t been the same too, without you.”

“I’m not going back.” Lance stated. “There’s a lot of things that happened between us and believe me, I don’t hold any grudge against you guys, but…” Lance looked at Ren. “I can also tell that me leaving, was the best choice to all of us.”

“But-” He didn’t let Allura continue.

“I’ll talk to Blue. I’m sorry if she’s been a bad kitty with you, once I talk to her she would be just fine.”

Everyone got quiet. Was there no way of changing Lance’s mind?

“Now come on. You guys must be hungry.” Lance stepped back from Hunk, going to Ren. “You’ll see that the food here is delicious.” Holding Ren’s hand he started walking, the team following him, leaving Keith and Shiro behind.

“Talk to him.” Keith glared at his brother.

“Keith, he’s happy with that guy.”

“Look. I know what I did wrong, and I fixed. You need to do the same.” Keith pointed a finger to him. “We all need him back with us.” At Hunk’s voice calling for them, Keith went his way, leaving Shiro to think about things, alone.

 

Dinner went on as if things never changed between them, they were talking, laughing, eating everything that was brought to them, until Shiro noticed that Lance and the other guy, _Ren,_ were gone. He knew he shouldn’t but went looking for them anyway. Maybe, _maybe_ , Lance would be alone. And they could talk.

That wasn’t the case, he found both deep in the forest, talking, it was a bit dark, but Shiro could see how _comfy_ they were, holding hands and very close to Shiro’s taste.

“So? What do you think of them?”

Ren chuckled. “They’re everything you told me they were.”

“But you don’t seem excited to fight with Keith, or to talk tech stuff with Pidge and Hunk.”

“You know why I’m like that. I know what he means to you.” He kissed Lance’s hands, getting even more closer.

“Meant. What he _meant_ to me.” Ren was now kissing his jaw, slow, opened kisses.

“Lance,” Ren looked at him. “You don’t need to lie to me. I could see how you still feel about him when he hugged you.” Lance interlaced his fingers around his neck, nuzzling his ear.

Ren hummed at the touch. “Lance…”

“Fuck me.” Shiro froze. Did he heard it right? Did Lance, _his_ Lance, just asked to be fucked?

“You changing the subject.” Ren sighed but his hands moved, sliding under Lance’s shirt, making him gasp when they touched his chest.

“I-I’m not.” Lance moaned when Ren pinched his nipple. “I-I’m showing you that I’m yours…”

 

Shiro should leave, he knew it was bad for him to be where he was right now. But he could not move. Even if he wanted to.

Ren kissed Lance, he used one of his hands to hold both of Lance’s hands on top of his head, something that Lance appreciated if his moans were to speak for him, Shiro couldn’t see the kiss very well from where he stood but he knew when it was a good kiss, and that, was doing wonderful things to his crush. Ren leaned down, giving open mouthed kisses to his jaw, his neck, and all the former paladin could do was moan.

“ _God, Ren. Yes, yes…”_ Shiro could see Ren’s eyes glowing yellow, and canines showing up, he turned Lance around, pressing his chest against the tree. “Who do you belong to?” He asked palming every place he could, making Lance shiver, he didn’t respond, so Ren quickly squeezed his member. “ _Ah! T-To you! I belong to you Ren! Fuck! Fuck me already!!”_ Lance was a mess, hips moving against his lover’s hand, fucking himself there.

Ren placed to fingers on Lance’s mouth. “Suck. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Shiro was seeing all of this for the first time, he could feel his member getting harder. He always imagined Lance on his bed, but he was never… this sluty for his cock. Lance licked Ren’s fingers eagerly, Shiro could see his tongue swirling around like he was a fucking lollipop. “ _You can hurt me, bite me, mark me, show them I’m yours, I don’t care, I just want your cock inside of me!”_ Lance was rubbing his ass on Ren’s cock.

Ren took his fingers away from Lance’s mouth and introduced both of them inside Lance, making Shiro flinch at how sudden that was. Lance gave a cry of pleasure.

“I see you’re still beautifully open babe.” He stopped his fingers. When he noticed something white flowing out of him. “Lance-”

“I’m ready for you, fuck Ren. Either you fuck me right now, or I’ll find someone who does.” Lance growled, looking at him from behind. Shiro really wanted to volunteer for the job. The way Lance talked, gave him a red mark on his ass cheek. Ren slapped it, making Lance shiver. “You’re such a slut. What if I make your friends see you like this?” He aligned himself to Lance’s hole. “Bet you would like to show that guy how good you can be huh?”

 

Lance whined when he heard about Shiro. Another slap. “Your answer?” Slap.

“Y-Yes! Yes I want Shiro to see it. Fuck!!” Then something happened, Ren looked somewhere, as if he was searching for something, till his eyes met Shiro’s. “Well maybe I can make your dreams come true after all.”

“What?”

Ren grabbed Lance buy his legs, folding him in half letting his member in plane sight.

“Ren, what are-”

Lance looked confused for a few second when Ren dropped his body, thrusting his hips, fucking Lance senseless. Lance wasn’t even moaning anymore. He was screaming, he was so flexible, his arms went backwards, hands on Ren’s hair, he was a mix of _yes_ and _more_ and _please._

 

Shiro didn’t know the exact moment, but he also started jerking off by the view. He was so hard, he didn’t even mind if Ren knew he was watching. He went after his completion. Fucking his hands. He bit his lips to make sure he wouldn’t make any noise. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Lance. He looked so beautiful. A thin layer of sweat was shining because of the moon of the planet that was way bigger than their own moon, his flushed face, messy hair, drool going down his chin. At the same time he was enjoying seeing Lance like this, his heart was also hurting for knowing that another man was making him look like that.

 

It didn’t take longer than that for Lance to finish with a cry, Ren still thrusting against him. It was obvious that he had more resistance then Lance, Shiro had cum together with Lance and he looked down, feeling dizzy, when he noticed they were still fucking, Lance crying for the over sensitivity. “R-Ren” his voice was hoarse. “I - I can’t anymore.”

“Yes you can love. Just keep up with me.”

Lance was shaking his head, tears flowing down his cheek. “You’re so good Lance. So good to me.” Ren picked up the pace even more. Lance squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t really liked to be fucked until he lost sense of things, because there always was a name on his mind, a person that would kiss him gently, pet his hair, hold him close.

“S-Shiro…” it was a whisper. He looked up, eyes unfocused. His heart ached for the other man, even after 3 years, after everything he went through, he still loved Shiro. And that just wasn’t fair with Ren.

Wasn’t fair with the man doing such a good job for him right now, filling him completely. Ren groaned, biting Lance’s neck when he came. Loads and loads, his part galra, he informed lance one time.

Lance could feel his stomach bulging with it. When he was over, Ren gently placed Lance on the ground, back against the tree. He kissed his forehead.

“Can you wait a second love? I’ll grab a towel for us. Then I’ll clean you up. Sounds good?”

Lance just nodded, he saw by the corner of his eyes as Ren left. He was so tired.

“What am I doing?” Lance flinched when he felt Ren’s cum flowing out of him. “Shiro…” ha. That was hilarious. How could Lance be calling someone else’s name at that time? How could he feel more complete in that hug between them this morning than the thousands of hugs Ren gave him? It wasn’t all the time that Ren treated him like a rag doll. No, he would only do that when Lance was thinking/dreaming about Shiro. Like today.

But today Shiro was here, Shiro was here and he was choosing someone else.

 

Choosing?

No, not choosing. There was no choice to make. Shiro didn’t like him. He got rejected. He got rejected then tried to save everyone then he fought against the galra by himself for the first time, he got a scar on his handsome face because of it. He lived 3 years by himself, never feeling safe. He finally understood how Shiro must have felt. He was the leader and a role model. People depended on him. A tear fall down. Eyes still glazed. He was looking at his lap when he heard a noise. _Ren._ Always quick with picking him up. He looked up and was frozen. “S-Shiro!”

 

———

 

Lance tried to move, he did, but his body was devastated. Shiro stopped him from moving. “Hey, you’re ok. Just, just relax. Ren let me take care of you.”

“He what?”

Too late. Shiro already had him in his arms, bride style. Going all the way to the river. He would only know the way if someone told him… he would be very angry at Ren when he got back to his tent.

 

It was just like an onsen.

The hot water helping Lance’s sore muscles. Shiro took of his clothes as well. Going inside the river, he made a move to get closer, but Lance stopped him. “You don’t need to do this. I can clean myself up.” Lance wasn’t stupid. He knew that Ren would never give up of the aftercare routine, unless Shiro knew what happened, his eyes went wide, looking at Shiro. “You, you saw it. Me and Ren-“

“Yes.”

The air got caught in Lance’s lungs. “Shiro-“

“I miss you Lance.” Shiro looked at him serious, eyebrows furrowing. “I have always like you. Ever since we met. I mean how could I not to? You were perfect. You are. Perfect I mean.” He placed a hand on Lance’s face, it was so grounding. “2 weeks ago, when I refused you I only put the fact of me being a black lion and the role model for you guys as my top priority. But I won’t do that anymore. I want to be with you Lance.”

 

Shiro loved him?

What?

Was that a joke? Because it definitely was a bad one.

He spent three years thinking about the “What if”; what if Shiro has said yes, what if he hadn’t said anything, what if he tried to forget about him, what if Shiro could be happy without him? But all of the what if’s, all his imagination wouldn’t bring him to this moment, this feeling of belonging to someone.

He liked Ren, but both knew what they had wouldn’t last forever. So to the hell with it, and they enjoyed every moment they could. Mostly doing sex.

But just a few moment ago, Lance had told that brave soldier that he belonged to him. And he wanted that to be true.

 

He made his choice.

“I’m sorry Shiro…” he didn’t look at him when he started speaking, but he knew he had to do that. Needed to look him in the eye. And break that wonderful heart, because in all honesty? It didn’t matter that Shiro liked him, or that he liked Shiro. He wasn’t good enough. Even if he was a commander now. He would never be at the same foot with that amazing man. “I don’t want to be with you.” He looked at Shiro, heart breaking, perhaps even more than Shiro’s. “It was just like you said 3 years ago… I was confused. Thought I was in love with you, when all I felt was admiration.”

“Lance”

“It took me a while to realize that… but I’m with Ren now. I’ve been with him for almost 2 years now. I can’t… I can’t do that to him.” His heart was tight, somewhere on his mind, there was a voice yelling for him to stop, that he finally got what he wanted. What he has been waiting for his whole life. But there was nothing he could do now.

“Lance you can’t be serious.” Shiro trapped him between his arms, getting dangerously closer to him. “Do you want me to believe in you when you’re making this face?”

 

This face? What was he talking about? Lance couldn’t see of course, but he was still the same, his emotions would show on his face. Even if he didn’t want to. He was on the verge of crying.

Shiro knew he was lying, but why was he still choosing the other guy?

“Leave Shiro.”

“I won’t.”

“I made my choice!”

“Then look me in the eye!” Lance flinched. He looked at Shiro’s face, but did his best to not look at those gorgeous silver eyes. “Look me in the eye and tell me, that you prefer that son of a bitch that has sex with you on the open, even if he knows someone is watching.”

“We already had sex in a lot of places.”

“ _Lance.”_

 

God could someone shut him up already? Those were informations that Shiro **did not need to know**!

As if Shiro could hear his pleads, he brought Lance closer, Lance blushing when he felt all those muscles cage him. He looked up to demand to be free, when Shiro kissed him. His eyes went wide, butterflies on his stomach, he tried to move but Shiro grabbed the back of his head, yanking his head up by his hair. Lance gasped and Shiro took that chance to slip his tongue inside, Lance felt too good. Way better than he felt when Ren kissed him. And Ren was a good kisser.

He moaned, forgetting what he said just a few seconds ago, passing his arms through Shiro’s neck, bringing him closer, feeling his hard cock against his stomach, Lance started rubbing against it, making Shiro shiver and release a moan from deep down his throat.

Lance pushed Shiro out of the river, making him seat in a rock, and without ceremony, he gulped down his member.

 

“Fuck!” Shiro cursed, hands going straight to Lance’s head, locking his fingers on that silky hair.

Lance wrapped his lips around the cock and sunk down to the base immediately, rubbing the head of Shiro’s cock against the inside of his cheek and guiding it back down to the back of his throat. Lance bobbed, hand coming around to cup at his balls, tugging and squeezing before he set his own pace.

“Lance, god! T-that’s it. Fuck. You’re amazing.” Shiro remembered how it seemed that Lance had a praise kink. So he would not hold back. At all.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect Lance. You’re taking me in completely, you’re such a good _kitten_ .” At that Lance moaned. He was used with praises, even pet names, but this is Shiro we’re talking about. Shiro is giving him all the praises, Shiro is giving him a pet name, that only helped Lance to get more fired up. He got of the member with a ‘ _pop’_ , looking straight at Shiro, blushing hard.

“Fuck me.” He widened his mouth with his finger, putting his tongue out, touching the head of Shiro’s cock. Giving a few kitten licks to show him that he wanted that. And wanted fast.

 

Shiro took the message.

His head hit the back of Lance’s throat feeling his muscles convulsing at the sudden intrusion, no gag sounds though so Shiro kept him there; nose buried in the few hairs above his cock. He started with small thrusts and Lance could feel that his throat was being pushed to its limits. He was huge.

Shiro slides his hand resting it on Lance’s throat, feeling his cock on it. It didn’t take much longer for Shiro to begin thrusting into it, fast.

 

"That’s it. God, you don’t even have a gag reflex? Guess you’re really a slut huh?” Shiro’s hand squeezed a bit on Lance’s throat. “Knowing that that asshole took your first time… fuck. It really piss me off.”

 

And the thrusting got more intense, Shiro's hands holding him in place. Lance was horny, he was so horny and his dick hurt so bad because this was the hottest thing. He never imagined that he would have Shiro's cock in his throat, that he would be able to hear Shiro moaning how close he was already, all of that made him so hard it was hard to believe. Once again, this never happened with Ren. He looked up, Shiro was looking at him, always looking at him.

“You’re **mine** Lance. You’re so fucking perfect. And it’s only for me.”

Lance shivered and he came at the same time Shiro did.

He felt the warmth of Shiro’s cum painting his throat white and he took it all, not letting even a single drop escape him.

Shiro sat again on the rock and Lance followed him, mouth still in his cock, sucking everything he could, till Shiro taped his shoulders feeling over sensitive.

He tries to kiss Lance again, but the boy gets away making a noise, before swallowing something and Shiro blushes when he connect the points.

“I-it’s a lot to swallow at once…”

“S-sorry… it’s been a while…” Shiro pulled Lance to him, hugging him by his waist. “You’re perfect Lance.” He rubbed his nose on Lance’s cheek. But he got away.

 

“I’m not perfect.” He glared at Shiro, the older man just patiently waiting for the rest. “I’m not perfect at all Shiro. I’m always smiling, making jokes, pretending to be happy but I’m not! All of that is just to hide how I really feel, and I feel awful! The worst part, is that it’s me, I’m the problem, I have all of you with me and I know you guys really like me, but I can’t help feeling that I’m one too many, I have always been like that, with my family, with my friend, here, it’s just as if I shouldn’t be here! And I’m always hiding those feelings behind a smile! I’m lonely and there’s no one for me, no one that I can call, no one that wants to be with me! The real me!! I’m not perfect!!!”

Shiro hugged him, that was the first time, the first time Lance were really honest with him.

“I care for you Lance. And I want to be with the real you. I want all of you.”

“No.”

“Lance-“

“I said no, Shiro.” Lance pushed him. “I’m not good for you. You deserve a lot more… someone way better than me… you already suffered so much… you deserve to be happy. And I can’t give you that… I’m… I’m just me. I’m not special to anyone.”

 

Shiro got stuck there, he couldn’t move, couldn’t stop Lance from leaving the river, how could he… how could Lance think so much of him? And so little of himself? And how could he show him, how much he meant for Shiro, and for the team?

 

__________________

 

Lance went back to his room, tears on his face, memories he didn’t want to remember coming to the surface. He was curled in a tiny space of his room, on the corner, hands on his head.

“Well, that was not the result I imagined.” Ren looked at him, crouching beside him. “Baby, look at me.” Lance shook his head. “Lance.”

“Why? W-why did you-, I- you-“ Lance sniffled “I told you I didn’t want to be with him, I told you I chose you, then why?” Ren held him closer. “I don’t want to remember. Ren, please. _Please._ ”

 

When Lance was in the quantum abyss, he spent a long time alone, memories from when he was with the team, images of what could have happened between him and Shiro, happy images, terrible images, he was shown a variety of future lines. He was almost going insane when he finally found the stress signal of the ship and fought side by side with Ren, things only got worse when he got the cut on his face, they didn’t have a pod, nor antibiotics, so he almost died, also having hallucinations, dreaming about Shiro coming to him, finally accepting his feelings.

At those days he would beg Ren for help, would beg him to fuck him so rough that he wouldn’t think of anything.

And that’s what Ren did that day as well.

He really didn’t think of anything, but Shiro’s lips, how his voice was like, how his cock felt on his mouth, Lance didn’t want to think about it, he asked more then he could take it from Ren, feeling his heart break more and more with each thrust till he was crying from pain. He cried so much he was sobbing. Ren stopped moving, he wasn’t excited in being rough with Lance in those conditions. He wasn’t sadistic.

 

“You love him Lance, even after all this time. You always, always loved him.”

Lance shook his head. “It’s ok Lance. What we have between us, was never something that serious. You never stopped loving him, I never loved someone like you do. We were both getting crazy in that place. But now, now they’re here. They’ve come all the way here to get you back.” Lance wanted to speak but Ren didn’t let him. “I know, I know, you’re worried about the people here. But they’re safe now Lance, they learned how to defend themselves, you taught them that. And if you ask them, they will tell you to be happy. They will tell you that you, and only you can make your future.” Lance sniffle, Ren made him comfortable and kissed his forehead before getting up and dressed. “You deserve to be happy Lance, I hope you give yourself a chance.”

 

____________________

 

“We already knew he probably felt like that.” Keith was frowning.

“Well, Lance’s family is huge, his brothers, sisters and cousins have a huge age difference between them and him. So he was always isolated…” Hunk commented.

Shiro was talking to everyone after that incident, he thought it was important that everyone knew how their blue paladin really felt.

“If that’s the case I imagine we should show our precious boy how much he means to us.” Coran finally spoke. The older man probably knew this already, since it appeared that Lance would trust on him only. “He May have been isolated but the most important thing for him is his family. He really missed his mother and father, though he gave his best to focus on the missions.” Coran looked at Shiro, a look that said ‘he gave his best for you’.

“We can all fix this.” Allura said. “We help him on bringing the people of this ship to kolivan and then, then we can talk to him.”

Everyone nodded, they would make things work. They had to.

 

_____________

 

Kolivan was close to them now, so Lance accepted Allura’s idea of everyone getting inside the castle, so they could meet him halfway. But things can always get worse, a galra ship appeared and started attacking them.

Lance took control of the situation. Giving his men orders.

“Ren and I will help the paladins on the battlefield, you guys help the women and children to the deck, there will be the most safe place for now.” Looking at his friends he also started commanding. “Go to the hangar, I’ll use one of the pods to bring me and Ren inside the ship. Don’t attack them, just distract them until we’re there, let them do the first move.”

Everyone started moving after their commander gave the order, but the paladins remained there, mouth open. “Oh, uhm… sorry, guess I just gave orders that you guys didn’t need-”

“No, I agree with you.” Hunk said. “We have a lot of people here… we can’t engage a fight. Though I don’t like the idea of you guys going alone.”

“It’ll be fine Hunk. Ren knows how to fight and  how to hack their systems.” Lance smiled proudly, and knowing that the other half galra could do such a thing gave a bit of peace to the rest of team. “Now let’s go. Everyone in your positions!”

 

Ren and the paladins went away, but Shiro stayed behind.

“Shiro?” Lance looked at him, worried something was wrong with him.

“I don’t like you going alone with him.” Shiro almost appeared to be… pouting?

“Are you pouting?”

“No.”

“Yes you are.”

“Ok, fine, I’m pouting! But I don’t trust him.” Shiro trapped Lance in his arms. “Let me go with you guys.”

“Shiro, don’t be absurd, your’e the black paladin. They need you to form Voltron if something goes wrong.” Lance held Shiro closer. “I promise you that you don’t need to worry about me and Ren, ok? He’s been by my side for a long time now. I trust him.”

Shiro wanted to argue with him, make him change his mind, but he knew better than this, so he let it go. “Just make sure to come back alive ok? Come back to me.” He stole a kiss and went away running before Lance could fight with him.

 

Shiro was going in the direction of the Black Lion when he saw Ren, standing against the wall. “You told him you don’t trust me.” His posture was different, Shiro getting tense, ready to fight if necessary.

“I did.” Ren’s eyes changed colors, for a fraction of a second, Shiro wasn’t even sure if he had really seen it. “If something happens to him, I’ll make sure you’ll pay for it.”

 

And something really did happened.

It was an ambush. As soon as Ren and Lance got inside the ship, dozen of soldiers attacked them.

“Fuck!” Ren cursed as he was cutting one after another. “Stupid robot soldiers!”

Lance was at a certain distance, using his gun. Not the bayard, but one just as good. They were a good team, Lance shooting every robot that tried to attack Ren when by his back.

“Lance? What’s going on?” Lance heard Keith by his communicator.

“It was an ambush! Just- just hang on a bit longer! Keep protecting the others!”

“Lance you need help! You need reinforcements!” Pidge intervened.

“We can do this by ourselves!” Ren roared. He was in his full galra version. He was taller and stronger in that form, Lance knew they could take care of the situation, they have done it before, but always getting hurt…

“Just one. The rest stay where you are.”

“I’m on my way!” Shiro informed, making Lance feel a bit more relaxed on that terrible situation.

“Lance!” Ren shouted, Lance looked up and saw one of the robots ready to decapitate him. He narrowly escape, a few hair strands being cut. Ren ran to him destroying the robot and bringing Lance closer to him. “Get my other sword. Don’t get away from me.”

Lance smiled, getting the sword. “You always say this. Shouldn’t you know already that I’ll never leave your back open?”

“Stop talking and concentrate, love.”

They continued fighting, everything was going just fine, Shiro was close to them as well, fighting against a few ships, but he was there, he would be there.

That was when he heard a noise and a pain on his side. He put a hand where his ribs were located and saw blood, lots and lots of blood, he was bleeding of course but it didn’t look like a serious injury for that much blood, he turned his head back when he hear another noise, something hitting hard on the floor. His heart went up to his throat. “REN!”

Ren had a hole on his stomach, right in the middle, the size of a tennis ball, his sword was broken, when Lance looked up, he saw one of the robots with a laser gun. And he was already aiming at his head. “Shit!” Lance ducked, hugging Ren close to him. But nothing came, instead of pain he heard the roar of two lions he glanced up and saw the black and the red lion. He relaxed, knowing that they would be ok now, he had his hands on Ren’s injury, making pressure, trying to stop the bleeding. “You’re gonna be fine Ren. Look at me.” Ren blinked, breathing fast, sweat on his face, his long and beautiful hair now getting red because of the blood. “That’s it big guy. Don’t take your eyes off of me.” He tried to speak, but cough blood instead. “Don’t talk. You’re gonna be ok, they have the med pod, you’ll be good in a second.” Lance only realised he was crying when Ren rubbed his thumb on his cheek.

“I’m… sorry…….I thought…. it was a normal gun……”

“I told you to stop talking!”

A tear fall off Ren’s eyes. “Be…..appy…...I….. love…………………………….”

“Ren? Ren, come on, open your eyes. Open your eyes, dammit!”

Shiro and Keith came running, both freezing on spot seeing so much blood.

“Fuck.” Keith crouched down, helping Lance stop the bleeding. “Coran we need the pod. Like for yesterday!!” Shiro was looking at Lance, he was crying so much, asking Ren to wake up, he tried to feel his pulse, he was still alive.

“Both of you, move.” Shiro warned, hand glowing. “I’m sorry. This is the best we can do now. He needs to go to one of the lions to go into the pod. And he won’t survive…”

“Just do it.” Lance knew what Shiro had in mind. “I’ll hold him down.”

 

And so Shiro used his hand to burn the place, front and back, Ren yelled, when Shiro touched him, Keith and Lance doing their best to keep him still.

When Shiro finished, the half galra passed out and they ran against the clock to put him back on the red lion so Keith could bring him to Coran, Shiro went back for Lance that was trembling on the floor.

“He’s going to be ok Lance. You saved him.” Lance shook his head. He was still crying, hugging himself, Shiro noticed that he also was injured, nothing as serious as Ren though. “Can I see it?” Shiro touched Lance’s arm, taking a closer look. It was just a bruise. Good. Shiro hugged him, strongly wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. “He will be ok Lance, you’ll be ok.” He repeated that over and over again, till Lance stopped shivering, relaxing.

Lance lifted his head, looking straight at Shiro, with a shaky breath he spoke:

“I love you.” Shiro widened his eyes, but went soft one second after that.

“I love you too Lance. I have loved you since we came to space, you mean so much to me. I’m sorry we had to take this detour to come here… But I love you, with all my heart. I want to know you more, want to know what you’re really feeling. Want you to be able to open yourself to me. I want to love the real you. If you’ll still have me.”

Lance just held him tighter, nodding, and Shiro kissed him. A sweet, delicate and quick kiss.

“Come on, let’s get out of here, take a shower and rest. Kolivan is almost here and Coran told us that Ren will be fine. He just need a couple of hours in the pod. Everything is alright now.”

Lance went back to the castle with Shiro, everyone let him know they were fine and that their commander should take care of himself, so Shiro helped him to his room.

“I would bring you to yours… but you took everything with you…” Shiro was blushing a bit. Lance smiled holding his hand. “If I invite you to take a shower with me… Would you accept it?”

“I was planning on inviting myself actually. You’re still hurt, it must be difficult to move around.”

Ok, that was not what LAnce was talking about, but his handsome crush could be so cute at these times as well! So when they entered the room, and the door closed, Lance brought Shiro down for a kiss, arms involving his neck, Lance licked the Shiro’s bottom lip, sliding his tongue in when he parted it, rubbing his member against Shiro’s leg, he parted ways gasping. “That’s what I meant by taking a shower with me you nerd.”

“Oh.” Shiro blushed hands moving by themselves, trying to go after Lance that chuckling went to the bathroom. Shiro stayed at the door for a few seconds, arguing with himself if that was a good idea. He shook his head, as if to send those thought away and went to the bathroom.

“Finally, thought you’d chicken out.” Lance was naked already, clothes thrown to a corner. Shiro stand there admiring the view. “Liking what you see?” Shiro nodes and Lance giggles a bit. “It’ll feel even better if you touched it.” Shiro didn’t need a second invitation, he surged forward, kissing Lance, fucking his tongue into Lance’s mouth after a minute. Lance enjoyed the kiss, confirming once again that he really felt different when it was with Shiro. He pushed Shiro off of him, turning around, he got a bit of the liquid soap and started entering himself, wanting to prepare himself for Shiro, not that he needed much stretch, thanks to Ren, but still. He moved a bit till Shiro stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“I- I’m preparing myself…” Shiro bit his shoulder, his cock rubbing against Lance ass cheek, Lance arched at the touch, moaning. “I- I always do it… you can just look…”

“You’re not taking this away from me.” Shiro smeared his fingers with the soap and introduced a finger, rocking it against Lance. Kissing his shoulder blades he went down.

“Y-You don’t need to go so slow… I want you Shiro..” Lance pressed his body against Shiro’s finger.

“Can I eat you out?”

“What?”

“I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to… but I really want to taste you…”

Lance squirmed a bit, Shiro’s finger still moving inside him. “I- I haven’t done that… yet…”

“So can I?” Shiro’s eyes almost sparkled, finally something Lance hadn’t done with Ren yet!

Lance answered embarrassed. “If you really want to… yes.”

Shiro made a happy hum, sliding his hands through Lance’s thighs, wrapping a hand around his cock, slowly beginning to pump it. Lance shivered, moaning lowly, squeezing his eyes shut when he felt Shiro’s mouth around one of his balls. “Oh, fuck.” Shiro enjoyed every sound coming out from Lance’s mouth, he released the skin with a wet pop, moving to the other one. “Shiro…” Lance rocked his hips, trying to catch his attention. Shiro went to his ass cheeks next, biting and sucking, marking him the best way he could, ass cheeks, close to his rim, his thighs, Lance was getting impatient. “Shirooo, come ooon. Fuck me already!”

“I’m having fun here.”

“You can have fun later!”

“So you’ll stay with us?”

Lance looked at him. “Are you serious?? Now isn’t the time to ask that!”

“I’ll stop here if you don’t answer.” Shiro pouted. Yeah, that part of forgetting about being a role model and the leader seems to be in order.

“Fine! I’ll stay! I’ll stay with you!”

“That didn’t seem honest, like at all Lance.”

Lance groaned. “Shiro, I’ve been in love with you waaaaay before you’ve been in love with me. What I feel about you it’s totally different from the others. I want you, I can’t leave without you or your cock after I tasted it, so get on with it and fuck me already!”

“So I should leave, me eating you up for another day?”

“Yeah! Raincheck!”

Shiro got up and close to his ear. “Is it alright if I get a little rough?”

Lance turned his head so he could kiss him. “You can do me whoever you want.” Shiro rubbed his cock again against Lance’s hole, entering him without ceremony, already in a quick pace from the beginning. “Fuck! Yes!! Ah!!” Shiro bit his shoulder again, tasting the blood, licking right after and going for another part to bite. “S-stop biting me in such obvious places!”

“Why? You told me you were mine now right? Need to show everyone too. So some people realize you’re mine now.” Shiro repositioned himself and Lance, the boy looking at him now, legs wrapped around his waist, Shiro rocking against him harder. Lance hugged him, hiding his face on the crook of Shiro’s neck, trying to muffle his noises. “Hey, that’s not fair, you need to show me your face.”

“Y-You’re embarrassing! Ah! Hnn…”

“Do you know your insides keep twitching around me? It feels like heaven to be inside of you.”

“J-just finish already! You beast!”

Shiro chuckled. “You’re such a good boy kitten.” He could feel Lance tightening around him, he flinched. “So fucking perfect, taking all of my cock like that.” He went even more faster than Lance thought it was possible, he arched moaning out loud.

“S-Shiro I-I’m not gonna last… fuck! You keep hitting my spot!!! So good, so good! God!”

“Are gonna cum for me honey?”

“T-Together… please, please. I want your cum inside me… fill me up, plug me up with something, I- I want your cum inside me!! Just keep fucking me!!”

It didn’t take long after that for both, Shiro releasing everything inside Lance, biting hard on his neck, drawing blood. Lance would be yelling to completion if his voice didn’t get stuck on his throat.

When Shiro finished, he helped Lance get inside the bathtub. patting his head. “You were amazing babe.”

“ugh, shut up. You’re a beast… even worse than Ren.” Lance tried to appear mad but his face would say otherwise, hands rubbing dearly against each and every bite mark.

“So now what?” Shiro asked, getting inside the tub as well.”

“I’ll stay with you guys. Me and Ren had already discussed it… He wants to stay with the BOM… the others as well…”

“We’ll be fine Lance.”

Lance smiled fondly. “Yeah. We will make it work.”

 

No matter what, Lance would try to find happiness, together with his friends… and together with Shiro. They went through a lot and he knew that there was much more to come.

He still thought about how Shiro broke his heart and how he did the same thing… but they would make their own path.

The one who broke his heart will be the only one capable to fix it.

And Lance didn’t find anything bad against that.

 

__________________________________________________________

 

You can see my art about this story [here](https://twitter.com/nanartist707/status/1132721621033279495)!

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on my twitter!
> 
> @nanartist707
> 
> If you guys liked, leave a comment, kudos or share with friends! bye!!


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